Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam

The Antidote to Bullying with Deanna Singh

If your teen is a target of bullying, the instigator, or even a witness to bullying, this episode is for you.
One out of every five students report being bullied based on their physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, or sexual orientation. In other words, prejudice. The bullying behavior can range from verbal and physical assault to casual, yet hurtful comments. In all cases, it has a negative impact on the mental health of everyone involved: the bullied, the bully, and the bystander. 
We know from research that ignoring the behavior or trying to stop it, only makes it worse because it doesn’t address why the behavior exists. So, what do we do instead?
That’s what we’re going to talk about in this episode.
Today I’m joined by Deanna Singh, founder of the Flying Elephant, who is on a mission to empower marginalized communities.  
 
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Ending Child Abuse in Youth Sports with Dr. Amy Saltzman

If your teen is involved in sports, this episode is for you. We encourage our children to get involved in sports for many reasons: have fun, meet friends, get exercise, and learn valuable skills like teamwork, perseverance, and sportsmanship. Unfortunately, there is also an epidemic of abuse as well—not just at the Olympic and college level, but in our middle and high schools too.
In this episode Dr. Amy Saltzman shares tips on how to spot and stop our own children from being abused and what we can do to create a safety net of prevention, healing, and protection to end this epidemic. 
Key Takeaways
Overt emotional abuse involves yelling and screaming and is easy to detect.
Covert emotional abuse is subtle and often extremely hard to detect. Often looks like generosity at first with love bombs (special treatment, praise, gifts, and friendship). Builds trust.
 
The four primary patterns that covert emotionally abusive coaches weave together to create the web of covert emotional abuse: tangling feelings of specialness and fear, controlling the environment, isolating victims, and distorting the truth. 
If child resists going to practice, get curious. 
To keep our children safe, we must not only dismantle the spider’s web (the abuser), but also create a safety net of prevention, healing, and protection. Enacting policies that protect children on a national level is crucial to ending the epidemic of abuse and beginning cycles of healing. 
If coach is abusive, report them. May also consider pulling child from team.
 
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Dr. Saltzman’s article See It. Stop It. Heal It:  Ending Cycles of Abuse in Sports and Society
Spot a Spider videos
Dr. Cam’s Top 10 Secrets for Raising Teens: www.askdrcam.com/parentingtips
 
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Teens + Gender Identification with Matthias

This week, in recognition of pride month, we’re talking about how to better understand and support our non-binary and transgender children. 
Although the LGBTQ+ community has gained more acceptance and support over the years, statistics show that most remain closeted in fear of discrimination. They are also at far more serious risk for depression, suicide, and victimization.
My goal is to answer questions, clear up misconceptions, and put some fears to rest so we can show up for our children the way they need us to.
In this episode I’m joined by my nephew, Matthias, to talk about gender identity, what it means to be non-binary, and how to best support our children as they transition. Matt is also an LGBTQ+ Tik Tok advocate at www.tiktok.com/@matthiaussy. 
 
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Parenting a Transgender Child with Camden + David

This week, in recognition of pride month, we’re talking about how to better understand and support our non-binary and transgender children. 
Although the LGBTQ+ community has gained more acceptance and support over the years, statistics show that most remain closeted in fear of discrimination. They are also at far more serious risk for depression, suicide, and victimization.
My goal is to answer questions, clear up misconceptions, and put some fears to rest so we can show up for our children the way they need us to.
In this episode I’m joined by Camden and his dad David to talk about the transgender experience, coming out, and how to best support our LGBTQ+ children.
 
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Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others would appreciate the guidance and encouragement, please take a quick moment to rate and review. Reviews from my listeners are extremely valuable and greatly appreciated. Review on iTunes.
 
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Online Safety for Teens with Cathy Pedrayes

If you’re worried about what your teen is doing online, concerned they’ll fall prey to predators, and can’t seem to get through to them how dangerous the internet can be, this episode is for you. I’m joined by Safety and Security Influencer Cathy Pedrayes to share tips for keeping our teens safe online. 
 
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Get Cathy’s free ebook: The Mom Friend Guide to Everyday Safety and Security
Dr. Cam’s Top 10 Secrets for Raising Teens: www.askdrcam.com/parentingtips
 
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Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others would appreciate the guidance and encouragement, please take a quick moment to rate and review. Reviews from my listeners are extremely valuable and greatly appreciated. Review on iTunes.
 
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How to connect with teens with Elise Knox

If you’re frustrated because your teen refuses to talk to you, wants little to do with you or the rest of family, or snaps at you when you provide guidance, this episode is for you. I’m joined by former middle school teacher turned coach Elise Knox. She shares tips on how to connect with our teens with her three steps to listening without judgment. 
Key Takeaways
If we haven't healed our past traumas or relationship issues, we project that onto our kids. 
Be aware of your face, body language, and energy. They pick up on that.
If you shut them down and judge them enough times, they will stop coming to you.
CBA of listeningClarity:  What do they need from you? Advice or empathy.
Breathe: Open your body language, open your mind, and calm your nervous system, so that you can be that open space for them to come and share
Accept: Understand that they're learning how to process things in different ways.
If you’re shocked by what they say or don’t’ know what to say, ask, “tell me more.” This puts the ball back in their court and gives you time to compose yourself to process whatever they've said.
Beware of futurecasting, which is thinking if they’re doing this now, they’ll always do it. They're never going to get a job. They’re never going to talk to me again.
Parenting teens can feel isolating. See outside support and help. You’re not alone.
 
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Elise’s free communication guide: https://www.eliseknox.com/communication 
Dr. Cam’s Top 10 Secrets for Raising Teens: www.askdrcam.com/parentingtips
 
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others would appreciate the guidance and encouragement, please take a quick moment to rate and review. Reviews from my listeners are extremely valuable and greatly appreciated. Review on iTunes.
 
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Dealing with Disrespectful Teens

In this episode, I answer the following parent question: Nothing we do makes our daughter happy. Why can’t she just accept a comment, advice, suggestion without complaining and pushing back? How can I make her listen and accept what she is being told without an argument? 
 
Key Takeaways
Allow them to voice their opinions without retribution. 
Rather than getting mad that they are resistant, get curious and find out why. 
Model what it looks like to listen, by listening to them first.  
 
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Taming Teen Temper Tantrums

In this episode, I provide tips for  addressing teen anger. This is in response to the following parent questions: 
What is the best way to diffuse a teen who is in the middle of a temper flare-up? 
How should a parent respond in the moment of frustration (both on the part of the parent and teen)?
 
Key Takeaways
Your teen’s emotions/meltdowns are a response to their brain’s fire alarm alerting them that they are not safe and need to protect themselves.
Understand the situation from their perspective. Why are they upset?
Proactively decide how you are going to response in a way that brings the temperature down and clears the smoke.
Find ways to prevent the need for blow ups and teach them strategies to express emotions more effectively and respectively. 
Next time your teen’s fire alarm goes off, respond calmly and focus on what they need to feel safe.
 
Have a Question for Dr. Cam?
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Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please take a moment to rate and review.  This helps parents like you find the show. Review on iTunes.
 
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Schedule a FREE consult with Dr. Cam
Want to know how Dr. Cam can help your family thrive? Grab a time at www.calldrcam.com.

How to help teens take accountability with Jeff Otis

In this episode, I’m joined by Jeff Otis, the founder of the personal leadership platform, Project OTY. Jeff is going to clue us in to why teens may resist taking accountability, how to encourage them to take more accountability, and how to help them uncover a sense of purpose and own their future.
 
Key Takeaways
The three O’s: Own your time, own your education, and own your organization
We need to acknowledge that we've got a generation of young adults growing up in a world that none of us have experienced. The speed at which information is coming at them is off the charts. It's becoming more difficult to take ownership and make decisions when it feels like the future is fuzzy and unsure.
Help them build their roadmap to create their purpose. Shift the focus to what they want their world to look like five years from today. Define success. Create a visual representation of what success looks like. If you can see it, you start to believe it, and then you start taking those steps to achieve it.  
One of the challenges we see in education is that it is very career focused. I think we're doing a disservice to young adults and teens by talking about picturing the rest of their life. That feels overwhelming. 
Change doesn’t happen overnight, be a little bit patient. You're in the middle of what's happening and often you can get caught up reacting to what's happening. When it becomes frustrating, this is an opportunity to pause for a moment, step back and look at why it's happening. When we start to unpeel, we see the uncertainty and fears that need to be addressed. 
There are four stages to learningUnconscious incompetence: You don't know what you don't know
Conscious incompetence: You realize you don't know what you need to know.
Conscious competence: You know what to do, but you still must think about it for a little bit.
Unconscious competence: Everything's on a reflex. 
Start exploring opportunities that are in alignment with your child’s unique strengths. Introduce them to different solutions and help them acknowledge and understand what their unique strengths are and how to leverage then today to move themselves forward.
We encourage young adults to reach out to 10 people that they trust to be honest with them, and ask them, “How would you describe my unique strength?” What strengths above all others seem to come effortlessly for me? This does a few thingsIt’s an immediate confidence boost for the young adult. 
They'll see strengths they may not have recognized in themselves. 
They're developing a list of strengths they can leverage going forward.  
New strengths are going to develop as we experience new things, but at every given point a young adult needs to be aware of what strengths they can leverage right now. 
Accountability starts with young adults identifying their unique strengths and how they can leverage them. When they can imagine a future they are passionate to go build, they will start getting out of bed a lot earlier on their own.
 
“As a parent, it's vitally important to be aware that your child is a unique individual.”
 
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Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!
 
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How to Get Teen Sleep on Track with Dr. Cara Ooi

Episode Summary
In this episode, I’m joined by sleep physician and youth psychiatrist Dr. Cara Ooi. Dr. Ooi is going to clue us in to why the teen years are a perfect storm for insomnia, the most common mistakes parents make when trying to get their teen’s sleep back on track and the three things we can do instead.  
 
Key Takeaways
The teen years create the perfect storm for insomnia. There is a natural delay in their body clock, which makes it difficult for them to fall asleep; they aren’t coping well with stress, which makes it challenging to unwind at night; they spend a lot of time hanging out on their beds, which creates an association with an awake alert state.
Common mistake #1: Insisting teens get to bed too early. Their bodies aren't ready for sleep until 12 or one. If their bedtime is before that, they end up spending 2-3 hours in bed not sleeping. This can snowball into more anxiety and frustration and strengthens a negative association with their bed, which makes it even more difficult to sleep. 
Common mistake #2: Don’t start by taking screens away. This creates conflict right before bed, which disrupts sleep more than the screens do. It also erodes connection, which means they’ll dig their heels in more.
Common mistake #3: Trying to convince them by telling them the benefits of sleep. This tends to be counterproductive
Tips to reset your teen’s sleep:
Delay their bedtime to better match up with when they are actually sleepy, to retrain their association with their bed to being in calm, sleepy state and good sleep.
Create a cozy nook. A place that is separate from their bed but provides the same comfort and privacy. This can be a fun project to do together. 
Create a sleep kit to put next to their bed so they don’t default to staring at their phone if they wake up. Can include notebook and pen, book or magazine, coloring book.
Minimize the amount of light in the room as much as possible. The darker the better.
Meet your teen where they’re at. Find a reason to get better sleep that is important to them. For example, if they love video games, better sleep can improve their reaction time.  
If you want to reset their sleep schedule, make small incremental changes to give their body the opportunity to adjust.
 
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Learn more about Dr. Ooi on her website and snag her free resources: The Parent’s Jumpstart Guide to Help Your Teen Sleep Better and I'm Exhausted but I Can't Sleep Webinar
Tune into her podcast series: Find the Eight
You can also connect with Dr. Ooi on Instagram + Tik Tok @decodeinsomnia
I’d love to hear from you too! Send me a message on Facebook or Instagram.
 
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